I hate my life. I am never ever enough.

I want to be done now.

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I hate my life. I am never ever enough.

I want to be done now.

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

I have the flu. I have never had the flu before and it is absolutely horrible. It started Wednesday and has gotten worse. I can deal with a runny nose but the fever and the body aches are the absolute worst.

Anyway, it's 2009, almost 2010 and I can't help but feel like the flu should be CURED by now. The flu has been around for years, why are people still getting it? And why is it so powerful that you get a new vaccine every year. I can't help but wonder how much of medical science is a hoax. It just seems silly to me that we have iPhones that can connect us to all of the world in a split second but we can't cure something like the flu?

But maybe it's just the tamiflu, levaquin, and tylenol with codeine talking.

( Read more... )

and the wisdom to know the difference.

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it has been a year from hell. i swear I keep looking for the punkd cameras. like HEY this whole year has been a joke. HA. now back to your regularly scheduled life.

I'm
so
tired.

I'm so tired of not knowing. I'm so tired of being strong for everyone. I'm so exhausted. If I survive this year, it will be a true miracle.

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it has been such a trying month. it feels like everything is moving so quickly and so slowly at the same time.

a division of my company recently filed for emergency bankruptcy. nobody knows the real reason. as of right now, im still employed. however, everyday has been such a roller coaster. it's really gotten to the point that things need to get better or end. I love my job and the people I work with are like family. I will be devastated if something happens but at least then I will know.

I've been living at shawns for a little over a month now. things are going great except I am having a hard time taking it all in. I don't think I will ever get used to not living at home and not seeing my family every day.

Caitlin moves to Tampa next week. I feel guilty that I don't really know her as well as I wish I did. and it kills me that she will be 16 hours away and I can't check on her when I want to.

time. maybe we should all be praying for more time.

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it has been 18 years today since my mom mom died. i still remember that day so vividly. the first time I realized people didn't live forever. i was 7. and it has haunted me ever since. so in honor of my mom mom and in honor of the fragileness and beautifulness of life, enjoy today. you never know what's coming for you. enjoy it while you can.

miss you mom mom. hope that all is well in heaven. I will always wonder how different our lives would be if you didn't leave us so soon. you brought stability to an otherwise broken family. someday I hope we can bring it back. watch over us all, we still need you.

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i am so dead inside.

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We accept the love we think we deserve.

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Today was the last soccer game of my sisters life. And I missed it. And I feel guilty.

I thought for sure they would win and advance to the next round of the state tournament. Hence creating another game for me to go to. But I guess that's the way life is. You always think there's gonna be a next time.

I need to learn to be in the now.

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